Folks have been asking how my arm is doing, and I’m happy to say it finally feels like there is some progress.

If you haven’t been following, last year about this time my left arm developed a bit of pain in the elbow which I pretty much ignored all summer and into the fall. By Christmas,  the whole arm –  from shoulder to wrist, was quite enraged, and by the last couple of concerts before the Christmas break I was having quite a bit of difficulty getting the concerts done, both from pain and lack of strength.  After several weeks off, it was not only not better – but worse, and I knew I was in trouble. So I started regular massage and some physio to try to get it to settle down.  These things helped but I wasn’t getting the relief I needed when in spring,  a specialist in Ottawa told me I was going to need at least six weeks complete rest for the muscles to settle down enough to heal. Another specialist in Calgary discerned that the problem was not just from playing guitar and hauling gear (as I had supposed), but the effects of old undiagnosed injuries as well – whiplash in the neck from an accident  few years ago, and stretched ligaments in my wrist from an injury decades ago.

Stylin Dave and Spectacle Steve

So, Dave (my manager) and I decided to cancel all my summer concerts (as that would do the least damage economically) to let the arm heal and to get the treatment needed for ongoing muscle health.  I’m currently in week four of that time and I am very pleased to say that in the last couple of days, it finally feels like we’re getting somewhere.  Yay.

The current plan is to continue this for a couple more weeks, and then, instead of hitting the road right away, to take an additional six weeks to record my next CD. This will ensure a more  gentle return to playing, as recording doesn’t entail the strain of travel (read: gear slinging) and also, in the studio I am more able to control the length of time I play and take proper breaks  until my arm builds strength again for the concert-length work I need it for.  I’ll be back to regular touring by the end of September.

Just before this healing time began, I took a couple of days in the studio to demo the songs for the new CD, which is tentatively entitled “Changes.” I’m extremely pleased with the new songs.  It’s hard to judge such things, but I think this could be one of the better ones!   The band is sounding great and will include some of the usual suspects (Gilles Fournier/ bass, Daniel Roi/ drums and Mike Janzen / keys) but also you’ll be hearing a lot from a terrific young electric guitar player named Joey Landreth.  There may be some string arrangements on some songs (not sure yet) but we’re going to try to keep this one pretty simple and not clutter it up too much.

If all goes well, we’ll release the new CD shortly after Christmas (perhaps on iTunes before Christmas) and most of 2011 will be dedicated to touring that new material. I certainly appreciate your prayers.  I’ll keep you posted as we go along.

Finally, as you can imagine, this restoration time, and the subsequent time set aside for recording has put a lot of pressure on us financially. I really do need to find some partners who can help shoulder the cost of this time. I sent out a letter in June to past supporters which raised about half of what I need to get through to the end of the recording.  If you happen to have some discretionary donation dollars you can direct toward my healing time and new recording project, I would be delighted to have you on board.  I am able to receipt donations for tax purposes (through a partner ministry) and if you would like, you can donate online Click HERE or you can call my office for information to donate through mail.  Call Faye or Dave at 1-800-845-3499.

Thanks so much for your care and concern.  I will be better and back to my pickin’ and grinnin’ soon enough.

I’ll leave you with a couple of photos I took while on recent retreat in Southern Manitoba.

~ Steve Bell

In June I took a week by myself at my friend Heather Bishop’s cabin. Besides reading some great books and writing a new song that will be on the new album, I spent hours sitting silently outside among the monarchs, hummingbirds, chipmunks, chickadees, tall grasses, ladyslippers and milk weed. Lovely.

Don’t you think Ladyslippers look a bit like Brian Mulroney?  Or (if you are American) Jay Leno?

Lady Slipper

Milk Weed

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btw – click on photos to enlarge

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Stony Mountain Prison - I used to toboggan down that slope!

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When I was a lad, my father was the Protestant Chaplain at Stony Mountain Prison. The Catholic chaplain was a jolly Jesuit priest named Fr. Bob MacDougall, or… Dougie, as we called him.

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I took to Dougie the first time I met him. I was about twelve at the time. He drove a gold Trans-Am, was always fun and boisterously energetic, had  a love for youth and an open door for all the kids in the neighborhood. We  set up a clubhouse in his basement complete with black-light posters and a stereo. We painted the walls with our footprints and suspended fishnets from the ceiling. Dougie bought a small fridge for our space and always kept it well stocked with soft drinks and the cupboards stuffed with chips.  I taught my two buddies (Fuzzy and Beats) to play guitar and bass, and we often rehearsed our band there (with me on drums)…   Creedence, The Guess Who, and a bit of Ozzy if I remember right.

Once my parents took a holiday to the south of Texas in the middle of winter.  My sisters and I were delighted to learn Mom and Dad had arranged for us to stay the whole two weeks at Dougie’s house. The first day coming home from school to our new temporary home, we found Fr. Bob in the livingroom sternly standing next to a huge plate of donuts bellowing,  “No supper until all these are gone!!”  That was the first day! It just got nutty after that.

We became great friends. I did all of Fr. Bob’s yardwork and he kept me in guitar strings. Whenever he traveled somewhere he thought I might like, I’d be invited along. He was always encouraging me to write and play my songs and often arranged for me to sing with the worship band in the folk mass at St. Ignatius Parish (Winnipeg.)

Fr. Bob eventually moved to Toronto to work with David Mainse at 100 Huntley Street. I missed him terribly. During my later teen years I  tended to drift in and out of seasons of depression and Dougie somehow always seemed to know. The phone would ring, “come out to Toronto for a couple of days – I’ll pay for the flight.” I’d hop a plane and Bob and I would spend a few days walking the streets of Toronto, talking about life, faith, hopes and dreams. We’d hang out in greasy spoons and generally just enjoy easy company. Bob loved to laugh and tell stories. He also loved to  pray and would endlessly recite his favorite Scriptures with more pleasure than most of us do rehearsing our favorite Simpson’s episode or Monty Python skit. I always came home filled up.

Original cassette cover for "Comfort My People" with me and Fr. Bob on front | 1989

Fast forward to 1989: Fr. Bob talked me into recording my first solo project.  He even paid for the recording that was to become Comfort My People – which launched  my solo career.  When that project came out, Dougie took me with him (and friend Jack Kincaid) to the Philippines, Thailand and India where I found my sea-legs (so to speak) with regard to my solo concert work. It was on that trip, up in the Himalaya Mountains  at a remote monastery on the border of Tibet, that I first heard the song Deep Calls to Deep which has become a staple in my concerts.  And Deep Calls to Deep has since become a favorite and fortifying song to literally tens of thousands of people.

photo of Moon Over Birkenau (Auschwitz) courtesy of Carson Pue

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A few years later, Bob took me to Poland to sing for  several thousand Catholic youth in Opole.  While there, we visited Auschwitz – probably the most intense and impactful experience of my life which eventually resulted in the song Moon Over Birkenau.

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Jack and Fr. Bob in Ireland

It was in Ireland,  again with Jack and Dougie,  I remember first timidly sharing the song Burning Ember. It’s painful to remember how insecure and unsure I was of myself as a songwriter in those days. That day in Dublin they both prayed for me and encouraged me to learn to trust the gift and confidently take my place as an authentic contributor to the world as an artist.   That was an extremely significant day for me.

One of the tenderest memories of my friendship with Dougie was just shortly before he died. Late one night, with failing health at a Catholic infirmary just outside of Toronto, Bob uncharacteristically pulled out a box of memorabilia from his days as tail-gunner in the Second World War.  After many successful midnight sorties over Germany, his plane was shot down into the Baltic sea. He survived several days by hanging onto a flotation device  before being plucked from the icy deep by some Finnish fisherman who left him to hide in a shack while his legs thawed. Bob was eventually caught by the SS and spent a couple years in a POW camp during which time all his friends and family thought he was dead. The intense stories Bob told me that night and the tears we shared constitute what can only be described as a holy or sacred gift.

Dougie was no saint. I was privy to some of the less flattering aspects of his life and character as well. But among all the other stories that need to be told right now, it feels important to tell this good story about a priest and a young boy. These days I tour  the world singing songs, telling stories and plucking my guitar “for the glory of God and the good of neighbor.” And this I do, in no small measure, because a Catholic priest profoundly and appropriately cared about and invested in me during my youth and early adulthood.  I’m sure my story is not unique. The church has been marrying, burying, nurturing, and consoling souls for centuries. Her flaws do not constitute her any more than mine constitute me, and I bet yours don’t constitute you either. It’s terribly important we own up to and amend for our weaknesses. But it’s also  important we don’t allow them to define us – mostly because in isolation, they are impotent to tell the whole truth.

When Dougie died, Nanci and I were in transition moving from rural Manitoba back into Winnipeg. Because of phone numbers being changed, nobody yet knew how to get ahold of us and so we didn’t hear about Bob’s passing till after the funeral.  The sense of loss and disorientation for me was overwhelming. I felt I had been set adrift.  One  night in Calgary, after a concert during which I was  feeling particularly miserable, a man came up to me and said, “I don’t know what this means, but throughout your concert, a verse of scripture was burning in my heart and I think you are supposed to hear it and will know what it’s for.”  The verse was Jeremiah 29:11-14:  “I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will find me when you seek me with all my heart. And I will be found by you…” aa I was stunned. That was Dougie’s favourite scripture. I must have heard him recite it a thousand times.  It felt like God had mercifully slipped me a message so I’d know that Dougie still had my back, perhaps more now than ever.

The Dougie Stone

Months later, while on tour in southern Ontario, my manager Dave and I took a detour to find Bob’s gravesite. In typical Jesuit style, his grave was plain and uniform and totally not Bob.  I don’t know what I was expecting – garlands perhaps? A stone festooned with neon and and glitter? Bob was such a character – the site seemed almost blasphemously plain. He was such a believer – the site was uninspired. I couldn’t connect with him at all there.  So I set my own stone and marked his impact on my life by hijacking a Bruce Cockburn song in memory of my friend.

click song title to listen:

Closer to the Light | Bruce Cockburn

There you go
swimming deeper into mystery
here I remain
only seeing where you used to be
stared at the ceiling
’till my ears filled up with tears
barely got to know you
suddenly you’re out of here

Gone from mystery into mystery
gone from daylight into night
another step deeper into darkness
closer to the light

Walked outside
summer moon was nearly down
mist on the fields
holy stillness all around
Death’s no stranger
no stranger than the life I’ve seen
still I cry
still I beg to get you back again

CD Cover for My Dinner with Bruce / Steve Bell

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The song Closer to the Light was recorded on Steve’s CD My Dinner With Bruce. To view, listen to tracks or to purchase, click HERE

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For those of you living below the 49th parallel – the JUNOs are Canada’s music industry award much like the GRAMMY’s are in the States.  I’ve been fortunate to have received the award twice. First, in Hamilton, 1997, for Romantics and Mystics. Then again in Vancouver, 2000, for Simple Songs.  I’m one of the lucky ones who received the older style trophy in the last year  it was made, and then the newer curvier version a few years later (see pic).

Nance and I also attended the 2001 awards in  St. John’s Newfoundland. Waiting for Aidan was nominated that year but didn’t win. But that year was the best by far.  If you haven’t been to Newfoundland, it’s hard to describe. If you’ve been there, you’ll know why it was so great. Cynicism hasn’t come to the Rock yet. Folks there are just folks. They love their music, their neighbors, their communities. They are honestly delighted  to have visitors and  are not at all embarrassed to be enthusiastic.   All in all, it still feels like the good-old-days in St. John, and that’s good medicine, if only temporary, for the corrosive effect that industry and celebrity can sometimes have on the arts.

Simple Songs wins "Best Gospel" in Hamilton / 2000

People have been asking if I have a sense of whether I’ll be awarded the JUNO this year.  It really is impossible to gauge. As I understand it, all the submissions for the category (Best Gospel Album) go to 5 judges who are chosen as impartial but connected somehow to the industry (radio programmers, music educators, producers etc.)  The judges each choose their top 5, and someone does the math from which emerges the 5 official nominees. Then, I believe the judges listen again to those top 5 and vote for a single project – those votes are tallied resulting in the winning project.   Unfortunately, there is only one category for all things “gospel” and so that’s how you get a rock band like Thousand Foot Crutch in the same category as an aging folk-style singer like myself.  So it’s hard to know how the judges will vote. You can’t feel too badly if you don’t win, and shouldn’t feel smug if you do. There are so many variables, and each judge has  a different grid they listen through. I’m just pleased my project, Devotion, is up for consideration. I’m really quite proud of  it and happy it got noticed. (See HERE for complete list of this year’s nominees.)

St. John's

So, Nance and I get a mini getaway! Well… not totally, I’ll be meeting with a group of pastors there on Saturday morning to see if there might be enthusiasm for my Symphony concert in St. John’s. And on Monday, before returning home, I meet  with the Newfoundland Symphony Orchestra to investigate the possibility of a concert with their organization.  Otherwise, it’ll be a great weekend and great place to hang and celebrate past work.

Thank you all for listening to my CDs, attending concerts and encouraging me with notes and emails. I don’t take it lightly that I get to do this work. It’s a privilege and I’m grateful.

I’ll blog next week about the events with a picture or two. It’s always fun to meet folks you never would otherwise. At the last JUNOs we attended in 2001, Nance and I met Mary Walsh and Justin Trudeau.  Both were pure royalty -  gracious and lovely in spirit.

Cheers!

Steve

Amanda Falk

by Steve Bell

We’re so pleased to be releasing Amanda Falk’s newest CD, In Between the Now & Then. I met Amanda in a Starbucks about a year and a half ago. I had long heard about her wonderful music, but our paths hadn’t crossed.  When we finally did meet, she was in a transition that had her feeling a little off-balance and not particularly sure of herself or her vocation. Amanda was heading to the States somewhere  – to pray, reflect and hopefully to hear from God regarding next steps. I remember telling her that if she wanted to pursue music again, to at least call to see if we (Signpost Music) could be of any help.

Several months later, Amanda showed up again – energized and refreshed with a bevy of new songs in her back pocket.  We had her demo a dozen or so songs, and right away Dave and I felt we needed to offer to help with the project.  She hooked up with producer Adrian Bradford, we scrounged some money, made a few calls and voila!!! – Amanda’s new disc was recorded and is now released. It’s a bit more complicated than that.

The songwriting on this disc is very strong,  but my favorite is We Will Wait (listen below). It was the only song from those initial dozen I insisted must be included on the project. Like favorite songs often do, it connected with me at a personal level,  and with a story from my own experience:

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Nazareth

I traveled through Israel/ Palestine several years ago (with an Arab guide), and again last spring (with an Israeli guide).  The human story of the conflict between Israelis and the Arabs in that land is so profoundly tragic  and there is hardly a day I don’t think about it.  The violence there has inflicted incalculable losses on both sides and unleashed an agony beyond description. The settled hopelessness that seems to have blanketed the landscape is haunting, and I’ve since read  dozens of books on the subject vainly trying to find that nugget of insight that might unlock the tragedy and set folks to dancing.  In the end, the more I learn,  the less vocal I get and the less sure I am of my opinions. To be sure, however,  monochromatic versions of the history or the people are more harmful than helpful. As Chris Hedges has so eloquently written, “Those who look at others as simple, one-dimensional caricatures fuel the rage of the dispossessed.”

Golan Heights

Over Easter, the mystery of Christ’s passion and His choice to absorb Rome’s pretense to power, once again overwhelmed me. This Man, according to Christian understanding, is True God from True God. And if Jesus is indeed the perfect radiance of God, then we’re dealing with a power whose nature it is to “suffer violence rather than sponsor it.” (Gill Bailie / Violence Unveiled)

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Grafitti / Bethlehem

I often wonder what it actually means to follow this  Way, Truth and Life. What is the quality of this Light that is a “lamp unto our feet?” What kind of witness would it take  to start a contagion of blessing to counter the seemingly  indefatigable contagion of violence that threatens to destabilize peace world-over? How do others… how do I, come to trust the resurrection power of Love enough to abandon the impulse to self-secure in favour of becoming a flourisher of others?

I’m not sure how to get there from here, but until then…

(click song title to listen)

We Will Wait by Amanda Falk

Lyrics:

Can You see us
it’s getting harder to breathe down here
are you near us
it’s getting greyer
the black and white is gone
the clouds have crowded their way in

we will wait
for the sun to rise again
’cause it’s coming
it’s coming ’round the bend
to rebuild things broken
retrieve things stolen
restore our tattered hearts

we are the beaten
the lost, confused, alone
we are children
ever searching for our home

so we will wait
for the sun to rise again
’cause it is coming
coming ’round the bend
to rebuild things broken
retrieve things stolen
restore out tattered hearts

so won’t You come
and shine Your light on us
won’t You come and shine Your light
won’t You come and shine Your light on us
oh how we need Your light
so won’t You come and shine Your light on us
oh how we need Your light

So we will wait…

Amanda Falk | In Between the Now & Then

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We Will Wait is available on Amanda’s new CD, In Between the Now & Then. To view the album, sample songs or purchase, click HERE.

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More pictures:

Jerusalem Day - outside my hotel, May 09

Galilee

Western Wall

Separation wall at Bethlehem

Church of the Nativity / Bethlehem

Memorial at Holocaust Museum / Jerusalem

Sinai

You might’ve seen my recent blog post, Romancing the Stone, about my wife Nanci and I…. and no, the blog title is not to suggest my lovely wife is a stone

Nanci and I - 28 years ago

Just before Valentine’s Day, we set out on a small getaway. We really needed that time to reconnect. Both our lives are so busy and I’m on the road so much. Sometimes, emotional distance builds even though there is no conflict to warrant it. One of my songs says, “Darkness is an unlit wick / a simple spark could vanquish it.” Those few days were golden.

That’s why this event (below) is particularly close to the heart.

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Me n' Neal

I’ll be playing at a couples retreat in Banff, Alberta, from April 30th through May 2nd. It turns out that a childhood friend of mine, Neal, is part of the team who’s hosting it (FamilyLife Canada). Neal and I were best  boyhood buddies from age 5 – 12 until my folks moved from Alberta to Manitoba.  We lost contact with each other and only reconnected a few years ago when Neal and his wife June showed up to a concert of mine in Nanaimo B.C.  It is so interesting to reconnect after all these years and now, to be part of a joint project.

Neal called me up and told me about this event, called Weekend to Remember and asked if I would be a part of it. It’s for couples looking to strengthen or renew their marriage, and it’s designed to help those with good marriages and those who are struggling.

Initially, I wasn’t too sure.  I’m not normally one for these kinds of events but I’ve heard nothing but good things – and it is organized and led by dear friends I trust.

On a recent trip to Southern California, I met up with friends Greg and Shelley Leith who will be the keynote speakers. I had to admit to them that I was skeptical about  “couples retreats”  but Greg only laughed and promised me it was a great event, and it was not what I thought.   No-one would be forced into public touchy-feely awkwardness. I made him pinky swear – which he did – and everyone knows a pinky swear is binding

So check it out – It’s also a cool opportunity  to meet some of you in a personal setting.

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I’ll be performing a several times throughout the weekend as part of the conference, but I’ll also be giving an exclusive concert on Saturday, May 1. Concert tickets for conference attendees will be 50% off.

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FamilyLife Canada has arranged for a bunch of other discounts to make this retreat even easier on the wallet…

…And I just found out that my I can offer anyone on my mailing list  $80 off the couples’ registration rate. Just use Promo Code BELL when you register. (btw – I don’t make more money the more people attend. I’m just happy to pass along the deal that has been made available.)

We’ll be at the Fairmont Banff Springs Hotel, and it’s a spectacular place. The surroundings are breathtaking and the price is exceptional, thanks to Neal and Greg’s team of event organizers.

So if this is of interest to you, check out www.BanffWithBell.org. All the details are there.

Maybe see you there! It’s going to be fun.

Steve

P.S. If you would like to pass the discount on to your friends, become a group coordinator at www.BanffWithBell.org. When 4 couples register in your group, they’ll all save $80. Plus, you’ll receive FREE registration for you and your spouse!

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Rublev's Trinity

By now I would  like to have written some kind of reflection on the season of Easter which, like Christmas, is really a complex of seasons  including Lent, Holy Week, Easter Sunday, Ascension Sunday, Pentecost – all pointing to Trinity Sunday. Trinity Sunday celebrates the uniquely Christian understanding of God as a communion of persons ever locked in a dynamic relationship of mutual-othering  and self-donation from which we get a present vision for personal dignity, social wholeness and a bright hope for  life eternal.

I would have liked to have written something, but the truth is…. I got nuthin’. I can’t concentrate. The last weeks have been a whirlwind of travel and concerts – all good, but not exactly conducive to thoughtful reflection.

Meanwhile, my body is revolting (no comments please). Since before Christmas, my left arm has flared into a searing agony of pain from what doctors are telling me is advanced repetitive stress injury. I’ve been in regular therapy several times a week to try to get control of the situation, but I’m now being told that without extended rest (at least six weeks), healing should not be expected. And so now -  we have the task of finding time when I can get off the road for six weeks of dedicated rest with another few weeks of buffer to gradually return to playing. The assumption is that there will also have to be some lifestyle changes including regular rest, good food and exercise. Sigh…

And so… it seems most logical to take mid-June to early August for rehabilitation. Summer is not typically a great time for concert touring anyway and therefore the loss of revenue will be less than if I take the time off now or in the fall.  I’ll take a couple weeks for intensive therapy, a couple just to relax with Nanci, and maybe a couple to get a good start on that book I’ve been threatening to write.  I sure covet your prayers for the work I need to do in the meantime.

Otherwise, there is lots going on:  many concerts ahead, some new songs  and new opportunities to share this music in novel ways. My recent trips to California have been very exciting in terms of opening new possibilities for future symphony concerts into the U.S.   As much as I love solo concerts, and will happily do them for the rest of my life, there is a marvelous opportunity with symphony concerts. With an orchestra, a concert can take folks right to the edge of the Grand Canyon (metaphorically speaking.) What God does with them there is none of my business, but these kind of events can help get them/us there.  The very act of symphony, in my mind, is a reflection of the Tri-unity of God. It can be an experience of THE experience.  I love it.

Finally - If you haven’t already done so, check out the free Easter Radio we just put up. I gathered songs from all the Signpost artists that touch on the general themes of Easter (penitence, prayer, disorientation, re-orientation, death, resurrection, browning, greening, biblical narrative etc.) and put them on one player you can access for free anywhere  or any  time you have a computer and speakers.  It’s  there simply to help you enter into the constellation of seasons we call Easter.  Please feel free to let others know about it through your social networks.

Thanks for reading and staying in touch.

Cheers!

Steve

To listen to our Easter Radio, click HERE

Equally paralyzing though, are the good times. I mean really… how do you adequately thank someone for loving you for say… 28 years? In our case, exactly 28 years. Our very first date was Valentine’s Day 1982 and we were married seven months later.

What gift, poem, song, or gesture is up to the challenge of honouring someone who so wonderfully mothered three tremendous  kids and whose  natural and delightful way with your two grandchildren is nothing short of remarkable?

How do you honour someone who believes in you more than you do yourself, and whose support of your vocation was, and is, given at great personal cost?

How do you celebrate beauty that after 28 years still leaves you weak in the knees?

Valentine’s Day can’t possibly deliver on its promises.

Pax Lardo

All that being said – I think we just had our best Valentine’s ever. It has been such a long time since Nance and I have had any decent time alone together. Nanci was with our daughter Sarah for the month of December, helping her receive our new grandchild Pax Carlo. (I’m now starting to call him Pax Lardo because he seems to be a bit of a butter-ball compared to his skinny older brother who is composed of chicken wire and coy.)

Returning from her month away, Nanci immediately started a new teaching job which demanded a few weeks of concentrated time and effort. Then  Sarah and family came to visit for a week, after which my touring season started up again as I headed out to California for an eight day tour with Nanci staying home to mark end-of-term exams and get report cards ready.

When I returned from California I knew we had to find somewhere to go, just for a couple of days, to break the coolish pattern of negotiation/business relating that often results from sustained seasons of busyness. We needed a chance for that easy affection, which drew us together in the first place, to assert its rightful place.

I found a hotel resort up in Hecla Island (a few hours north of Winnipeg)  that happened to have a two-day Valentine’s package offering a great room, several therapeutic spa pools, a magnificent restaurant and a restful break from the relentless demands of managing home and vocation.

Awesome  – it was just awesome! We watched two movies and enthusiastically followed the Olympics. We spent hours in the mineral waters and hot tub, steam bath and Nordic-plunge pool. We spent lazy mornings reading. We enjoyed magnificent food, champagne, uninterrupted conversation and sleep. And somewhere in there, the  stony knot of task and duty readily gave way to tender fondness, laughter and love.  We really couldn’t afford those two days, but I’m so glad we ignored restraint and reason.

Now it’s back to reality. And honestly? – reality is not so bad. We’re both blessed with work we enjoy and find meaningful. We do love our home, family, neighbours, friends and happily accept the obligations such privileges demand. Our own relationship will continue to glide and bump along as relationships always do. But happily tucked into our memories is one more little escape into rest and tenderness which can be drawn on for strength when cacophony bellows. And bellow it will.

Newly weds

Twenty-eight years ago, I couldn’t begin to imagine what married life would be like three decades down the road. I couldn’t imagine the joys and terrors child-rearing would bring. I couldn’t imagine the profound struggles, the wounds and the wounding, the need for healing,  the disappointments and the great and many, wonderful surprises.  But after all these years I can say some simple things.  Marriage is good.  Covenantal love is good. Sometimes, in the highly polemicized public debates about rights and definitions, we lose sight of the fact that the essence of the thing itself is profoundly good. And I feel extremely grateful that I have been blessed to know and give witness to  the bright goodness of something even though its shadow is undeniably part of the human experience. Thanks be to God.

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Old-ly weds

BTW – I’m singing several times at a weekend couple’s  (marriage) retreat at the Banff Springs Hotel April 30 – May 2nd.  I’ve never been part of such an event before but I know the organizers very well and it promises to be a great weekend for those who are able to take advantage of it.  Here is a LINK to the event but details are limited for just a couple more days. Next week we’ll post all the particulars.  It would be fun if some of you could join me there. Ironically, you won’t get a chance to meet Nanci as her work makes it impossible  for her to attend.

I’ll leave you with a song I wrote years ago which recounts feelings and thoughts I had on my way back home after a six week tour away from my beloved wife.

Click song title to listen:

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Alone Tonight
Music by Steve Bell | Lyric by Steve Bell and Byron O’Donnell
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Still a ways to Manitoba
Been awhile since I’ve been gone
Been a day since we were talkin’ on the phone
Still ahead, the longest distance
Just the last few miles to go
Lord I pray, there’s only one smile at the door

Will we be all alone tonight
Just to be what we both know is right
Will a candle be burning, will love have a chance to ignite
Will the rest give us just one more day
Lord, I hope she has planned it that way
All I want is to know, will be be all alone tonight

If our friends are all there with her
oh the night will never end
and I’ll just have to smile and try to act surprised
I suppose we’ll laugh at all my stories
We’ll be glad I’m home again
But I’ll just die each time I look into her eyes

Oh how I miss her
I can’t wait for that moment at the door
Just like I rehearsed it
Over and over

Album: Romantics and Mystics

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The song Alone Tonight appears on Steve’s 1997 JUNO Award winning album Romantics and Mystics. To view album, listen to song clips or purchase, click HERE

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Winnipeg Winter - what's not to love?

When I left for California last week, it was roughly -30 celcius with knee-high snow.  I returned Monday to slightly warmer temperatures (-18 C) and slightly more snow.  As much as I love California, the February flowers, ubiquitous Mexican restaurants and the sun-kept faces, it is great to be home in the city and the land that I love.  Winnipeg is fun to mock, but honestly, I wouldn’t rather live anywhere else.

Mike Janzen

Last night Nance and I joined 5oo others at the New Music Festival where Mike Janzen premiered his composition Bending Hendrix, with the Winnipeg Symphony Orchestra. It was a CBC / WSO commissioned piece commemorating the 40th anniversary of Jimi Hendrix’s passing. Mike’s composition, featuring the guitar mastery of Winnipeg’s beloved Greg Lowe, was delightfully unusual blending three Hendrix classics with an orchestra cleverly mimicking guitar pyrotechnics and Mike’s oddball sense of musicality and humour.

It was fantastic.  And it was in Winnipeg.

This morning, as soon as I’m finished writing this, I’ll walk my dog Daisy through the crystaline snows, under a crisp blue sky, through snuggled neighbourhoods guarded by stately barren elms, mighty oaks and evergreen evergreens. I love it.

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Not California

But California was great to visit and sing to. I wish I had some photos for you, but my camera went missing a few days into the eight day tour, so I’ll  have to give you something else for visual stimulation.

The first few days of the tour, I already blogged about and you can read that HERE.  After Sacramento, we (Dave Z and I) drove down to Orange County and spent a couple of days at BIOLA University, which is one of the larger U.S. Christian Universities. I taught a class to about 30 students there, who are all hoping to pursue some sort of music ministry. I sang for 2000 students at their morning chapel (which was a riot), and later I sang a house concert at  Barry Corey’s home (President of the University.) The house concert was his gift to several key donors of their new building program which provides a new home for the theological department there.

I loved the school, the staff, the students and the gathering at the Corey home.  All were extremely friendly, low-keyed, eagerly passionate about life and faith, and unusually open and hospitable to what I had to offer. It makes me wish I did more work on university campuses.  It was quite invigorating for me.

Then I sang a concert for a small gathering in Rancho Santa Margarita. What made that evening memorable for me was the presence of dear friends I haven’t seen for a long time. Bob and Elena Bennett showed up! Bob sang several songs for the unsuspecting but delighted gathering. Also, there was Kevin and Barb Ryan with their son James. Kevin is the builder of that gorgeous, beat-up, cedar topped guitar so many of you have seen me play.  It has been around the world with me several times, and has delivered countless songs and concerts.  These days it is a little worse for wear and is currently in the repair shop having a foot-long crack glued and braced – only one of many wounds this workhorse has endured as a result of the rigors of the road.

The great surprise for me was when Santa Fe based singer/songwriter Diana Gibbs appeared moments before the concert. She and a friend were in San Diego but took a train up to Orange County to come to the concert. Diana and her husband are dear friends to Nance and I. Their son Will is one of my two godsons for whom I wrote the song For the Journey. It is a song I wrote on the plane while traveling to meet Will for the first time. At the time, I was going through some sort of life-stress (can’t remember the details anymore) and I was overwhelmed both by the beauty of his new life, and the thought of the joys and terrors that awaited him – hence the song (Listen below. Click on the arrow to play song.)

From southern California, Dave and I drove up to the San Francisco Bay area where I sang a concert at Central Peninsula Church in Foster City. This is a community I’ve sang to several times in the past – so it was a warm, fuzzy evening with folks who have become great friends.

Sunday morning I sang a couple of services at Menlo Park Presbyterian. I am thrilled to have an inroad into this community as they are a vibrant and large church with their own orchestra.  There are many churches in the U.S. with their own orchestras, and I’d love the opportunity to take my symphony concerts to those folks. We’ll see.

Student chapel at Biola

Anyway – all in all, it was a great trip and it has produced several new opportunities to return to.  I’m blessed to be able to do this work and I want to thank so many of you for your prayers and support.

By way of quick health report – my soft tissue stress in my left arm continues to be a concern. It can be very painful at times, but I’m in extensive massage therapy and it seems to be abating somewhat.  Once the flare-up settles down, I’ll need to make some life-style changes (in the area of stretching and exercise) if I want to continue to work as I have in the past. This is not exciting for me, so I’ll need some encouragement to take a more disciplined approach to my ongoing muscular health for sure.  Apparently my current woes are a combination of sustained repetitive use and age… AGE?!!

Grandlads Pax and Luca

Have I mentioned I’m a grandpa?!!

For the Journey

For the Journey
Music and lyric by Steve Bell
Dedicated to my godsons Will Gibbs and Joe Michele Fontaine

May the Lord bless and keep you
May His face shine upon you
May His graciousness be like an endless stream

May the Lord show His favour
To your house and your neighbor
“Till the last remaining strains of striving cease
May He grant you peace.

In my heart there’s a sadness building up
Every turn adds to the cup
As the losses match the measure of my gains
In the shadow of this curse
Where the best implies the worst
If you’re like me, you’ll need to hear somebody pray…

Steve Bell / Simple Songs

For the Journey appears on Steve’s album Simple Songs. To review album, listen to clips or purchase, click HERE.

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Nance and Luca

My daughter Sarah, her husband Steve and our two grandsons Luca and Pax were in Winnipeg for the last several days on unexpected visit. By the time I return home they will be gone, and Nance and I will settle back into the tender sadness that marks the life of long-distance grand-parenting. Love is such a profound ache. A “sorrow for connoisseurs” one might say.

But that’s ok. I’d rather live with the ache than not. And for the moment I have a smooth highway ahead, a glorious sky above and California vineyards to my right and to my left – there are worse jobs than this.

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My manager, Dave Z, and I arrived here for a house concert in Sacramento on Saturday night. The concert was in the home of a wonderful acquaintance of mine Jud Riggs and his wife Kim.  I’m always fascinated by architectural space and how it acts on us. This home had a restful elegance about it reminiscent of the feel one gets from the  architectural genius of Frank Lloyd Wright.   About thirty of their friends came over for magnificent hors-d’ouevres lovely wines and some folksy tunes from yours truly.  I really enjoy house concerts; the immediacy, the celebration of friendship and neighborhood -  music in the home.

This work is so richly varied; from concerts in private homes to small rural churches,  theatres, concert halls, big city churches  – solo, with band, with orchestras. I can’t say which of these I prefer as they all do such different things. The language of song has as many dialects as the language of speech and takes on unique nuances according to the colours each framing environment highlights.  It’s fascinating really.

Saturday night I sang in a private home. And then Sunday morning I sang  three services at a church that seats more people than the Winnipeg Concert Hall  back home.  Mega church!  Megatrons!  Mega celebration with choir, full band (including horn section), outstanding soloists  – all under  a canopy of high-tech lights and orchestrated by a masterful music director. The opening song was an electrifying gospel R&B blast that made you want to jump and shout.  And although my modest Canadian sensibilities tend to be shy of such mega-ness, these folks were about as down-to-earth, friendly, hospitable and welcoming as any I’ve met.  The pastor, Rick Cole, had more the demeanor of a wise and goodly neighbor than the suited power-pastor one would expect in such a place. In short… I had a riot.

In the evening I sang a concert for the 3-400 folks who had nothing better to do on a Sunday night. It was a strange concert for me. I went into it well rested and energized, but almost the minute I got on stage I had trouble getting it together. It felt like I was whisked away, bound and caged in the wings,  helpless to come to aid of the poor bloke left floundering on stage.  Weird. At the end of the concert the response was surprisingly enthusiastic which meant that what-ever was going on for me internally, happily didn’t translate out front. Perhaps God chose to bless his people despite the miserable efforts of his humbled servant.  I’m not sure if I should be depressed about me or awed by a good God.   Hmmm….. I choose awed.

Not my real arm

I woke up this morning quite sore. I’ve not made a lot of mention of this up to now, but am becoming rather alarmed at the growing pain in my left arm resulting from repetitive stress injury after 40 years of guitar.  My massage therapist is confident my condition is fixable  – but not quickly. I was hoping the month off at Christmas would be enough for the muscles to heal but  now, as  I head into a full season of concerts, it is almost worse than before the break; searing hot pain from shoulder to wrist with particular hot spots in the triceps, elbow and top forearm.  I mention this because I know some of you are praying-types and it would be irresponsible for me not to take advantage of that resource.  I’ll do my rehabilitative work and keep you posted, but I would sure appreciate a few crumbs from the table of your prayers.

The coming days are rather pleasant. Tomorrow and the next day, I sing and teach at Biola University with a house concert at the president’s home (of the University, not the country). Tuesday night will be a dinner with my songwriting hero Bob Bennett and guitar maker Kevin Ryan and their sweethearts Elena and Barb respectively.  Somewhere in there will likely be a visit or two to IN-N-OUT  BURGER, the only bright light in Schlosser’s otherwise apocalyptic Fast Food Nation. Thursday I have a concert with Bob Bennett in Mission Viejo and then I drive back north to San Francisco for an evening concert Saturday in Foster City  with  morning services at Menlo Park Presbyterian on Sunday. As it turns out, there is no gig Sunday night and so I’ll spend it with dear friends watching the Superbowl!

Micah and his momma

On Monday I will return home to my son Micah and my most excellent wife Nanci whose teary voice on the phone yesterday indicates she feels about the same way as I do about saying bye once again to our grandsons – which brings us full circle. So I’ll leave you with a song I wrote several years ago that borrows from the narrative of Jesus’ mother, whose grief was prophesied by the elder Simeon, but who embraced the sorrow for connoisseurs none-the less.

click song title to listen:

A Sorrow for Connoisseurs

Music by Steve Bell / Lyric by Steve Bell and Jamie Howison

Maria I’ll tell you right now
My old heart is finished and full
This child that you bring
That my eyes have seen
He’s the glory of Israel
He’s gonna tear your heart out
After you’ve loved so well

Love is like a fine wine that you take by the fire
It rolls on the tongue and it gladdens the heart
But what we’ve learned from the reckless
Who can’t get enough
It’s gonna break your heart
You know there’s such a fine line of comfort and pain
Love criss-crosses over it again and again
But your options are loveless so don’t be afraid
Just know before you start
Lady that’s how it works
Love is a sorrow for connoisseurs

You may not believe it right now
I don’t understand it myself
But an old man can make
Mysterious claims
Some things we just know
So we tell
He’s gonna tear your heart out
Even after you’ve loved so well

Oh don’t you get it
I’m trying to explain
Sorrow is not the saddest thing
Don’t be offended
Let it sink in
Sometimes the best is hidden in
This strange, strange cross
Love is gain and love is loss

Album: Waiting for Aidan

The song A Sorrow For Connoisseurs appears on Steve’s album Waiting For Aidan. To view, sample songs or purchase, click HERE.

For details on any of the concerts mentioned above, click HERE

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And then again -  after posting a plea on Facebook for people to sign the ONE Campaign’s petition to erase Haiti’s odious debts to international financial institutions -   several responses surfaced the opinion that Haiti’s sufferings are largely self imposed.

Pickin 'n grinnin in Bangladesh / click photo to enlarge

I don’t claim the smarts to understand the matrix of causes behind systemic poverty, and I certainly don’t hold to a simplistic idea of the noble poor and the evil rich. But I have lived for a decade in one of Canada’s poorest neighborhoods.  I have traveled to India, Bangladesh, Philippines, Ethiopia, Kenya, West Bank, Thailand and throughout the Caribbean. I have read many books on the dynamics of systemic poverty and sat in on many dialogues among folks who are leading advocates for the poor. Rarely, if ever, have I encountered individuals or societies whose poverty could be said to be deserved. And rarely, if ever, have I met those who are entirely innocent of complicity in the suffering of others.

In the case of Haiti, a quick bit of research reveals a brutal feedback loop of external and internal predatory malice,  international indifference and climactic shock that will require a patient, compassionate, wise and multifaceted response if healing and flourishing is to eventuate – for Haiti’s history has been birthed in debt, borne by dictatorship and bludgeoned by disasters – a legacy of suffering that perhaps now, might receive the attention it needs.

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Brief History

(Culled from several articles cited at bottom of page)

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• DEBT

In 1492, when Columbus sailed the ocean blue, the island of Hispaniola (now Haiti and Dominican) was populated by an estimated 8 million native Taino amerindians who were all but annihilated by Spanish settlers within 25 years of Columbus’ initial voyage. The Spanish eventually ceded the western half of the island to France in 1697. Named Saint-Dominique, the new colony, through heavy importation of African slaves and considerable environmental degradation, quickly became the wealthiest colony in the Caribbean.

By 1789,  twenty nine thousand African slaves were arriving each year in Saint-Dominique which meant enormous wealth for France and unspeakable horror for the slaves, one third of whom died within three years of their arrival.

Battle at San Domingo

In 1794, a slave uprising began and within ten years the French were expelled and Haiti became the only nation in the world’s history to be born of a successful slave revolt.

France, refusing to let  her “rights” to the land and its inhabitants go uncompensated, posted warships off Haiti’s coast, and after 25 years of international isolation and threat supported by the U.S. and Europe, Haiti agreed to take out a loan from a designated French bank and pay compensation to French plantation owners for their loss of “property,” including the freed slaves. The amount of the debt –  the modern equivalent of 21 billion dollars – was ten times that of Haiti’s total 1825 revenue and twice the price of the Louisiana Purchase, paid by the United States to France (a year before Haiti’s independence) for seventy-four times more land.

This imposition of compensation by a defeated power and reimbursement by freed slaves of their former owners is unique in history and violated international law even in 1825. The 1825 agreement began a cycle of debt that has condemned the Haitian people to poverty ever since  whose government has some years paid up to 80% of it’s annual revenues to service debt.  Needless to say,  money for the most basic infrastructure enjoyed by most western nations was not available. Haiti did not finish paying the loans that financed the debt until 1947. Over a century after the global slave trade was recognized and eliminated as the evil it was, the Haitians were still paying their ancestors’ masters for their freedom.

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• DICTATORSHIP

Although an independent government was created in Haiti in 1804, its society continued to be deeply affected by the patterns established under French colonial rule. The French established a system of minority rule over the illiterate poor by using violence and threats. The racial prejudice created by colonialism and slavery outlived them both. The post-rebellion racial elite continued  the legacy of oppressive rule with  military coups and kleptocracies that have been the relentless blight on Haiti since.

"Papa Doc" Duvalier

As recently as 1957-86 Haiti was ruled by U.S. supported “Papa Doc” Duvalier and his son who for thirty years diverted foreign assistance to their own personal  interests accounting for over half of Haiti’s current debt to foreign lenders. It is estimated that over 30,000 of Duvalier’s political enemies were executed under his repressive rule.

Today, there are almost 10 million people in Haiti who share the collective debt of roughly 900 million dollars.  Do the math – considering that the average annual income in Haiti is $270, – the recently orphaned 4 year old Haitian child owes the world almost half of an annual adult income.

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• DISASTER

Hurricane Gustav / 08

There is much debate about the cause of global warming, but little about it’s reality and it’s profound effect on the world’s poor. A few years ago, Nance and I were in the Afar desert in Ethiopia where we met  native inhabitants  mercilessly  beleaguered, as they were, by the increased frequency and intensity of drought as a result of global warming. A year later, we visited the coast of Bangladesh and met several who had just survived Cyclone Sidr which produced a 25 foot sea swell that killed tens of thousands of people and millions of livestock in a single wave of terror. The frequency of storms there is increasing in tandem with  the droughts in Ethiopia.

Haiti has had a similar misfortune of geography in the last several years. In 2004, flooding left 5000 dead and many homeless. And then last year, the hurricane season of 2008 was the cruelest ever experienced in Haiti. Four storms–Fay, Gustav, Hanna, and Ike–dumped heavy rains on the impoverished nation. The rugged hillsides, stripped bare of 98% of their forest cover thanks to deforestation (largely denuded because people can’t afford more expensive forms of fuel), let flood waters rampage into large areas of the country. Eight hundred people were killed, millions left homeless and 70% of crops were wiped out.

Then, this past week’s earthquake will likely have taken well over 100,000 lives and leveled a city of over a million people. The aftermath of this disaster is incalculable.

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This morning, my devotional took me to Luke’s Gospel (chapter 4). Having just  endured demonic temptations to engage  the beleaguered world through  power, spectacle and manipulation, Jesus -  full of the Spirit – takes up and reads from the book of Isaiah:

“The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is upon me… to preach good news to the poor… bind up the broken-hearted… proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness… to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favour. ”

Isaiah 61 says more about God’s heart, “ to comfort all who mourn and provide for those who grieve… to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes… the oil of gladness instead of mourning… a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair… and they will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendour.”

May our responses to Haiti -  to all suffering humanity and the groaning creation – reflect the character and intentions of the One whose word and deed are one.

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Song

One night, while visiting a growing project in the Afar Desert in Ethiopia, the villagers gathered to sing and dance for us.  As long as I live I will not forget the power and beauty of that dance, the exquisite clothing, the searing proud eyes and the setting African sun turning the billowing dance-loosed dust into visual beatitude.  After returning home, I sat down with my friend Glen Soderholm and together we wrote this song taken from Isaiah 61 cited above. It could just have easily been written for Haiti. The song focuses on God’s delight in persons and place.

Click on song title to listen:

The Fast I Choose

The Fast I Choose (Steve Bell | Glen Soderholm)

Beauty for a crown
Oil of gladness raise
Comforting those who morn
Royal robes of praise

As the soil conceals what’s sown
The garden causes seeds to grow

These are the work of my hands
These are the shoot I have planted here
For the display of my splendour here
In these beleaguered (enchanted) lands
These are the ones I have loved
These are the ones I have called my own
These are the priests of a sacred home
These are the ones
These are the ones I love

This, the fast I choose
The song I want to hear
Let the bonds be loosed
The day is drawing near

Blessed be these lovely ones
Dancing in the setting sun…

To view video of this Song click HERE

For some ideas on how to help Haiti, I’ve posted some of the things we, at Signpost, are doing HERE.

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Articles used for this blog:

Haiti’s Unhappy History

A Pariah History – some promising starts and now this

External Debt Of Haiti

Odious Debt – in international law, odious debt is a legal theory which holds that the national debt incurred by a regime for purposes that do not serve the interests of the nation should not be enforceable.   The debt belongs to the regime, not the nation.

Haiti Needs Justice, Not Charity

Haitian Revolution